Shattered: The Life Story of Finnick Odair
by GFPFOX
Summary: Did you ever imagine the story about Finnick Odair? Well, this is my point of view of it, based on what we know from the books.


So, this is my first ever fanfic and it's about Finnick Odair story from "The Hunger Games". I'm not american or english either so, there, problably, alot of gramar mistakes but I hope you still like it. This is only the first chapter. I hope to see some reviews from you!

**Also: this is FANFICTION and so all the rights about "Hunger Games" belong to Suzanne Collins and Lionsgate.**

* * *

_Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding_

_Fall into your sunlight_

_The future's open wide beyond believing_

_To know why hope dies_

_Losing what was found, a world so hollow_

_Suspended in a compromise_

_The silence of this sound is soon to follow_

_Somehow sundown_

_And finding answers is forgetting_

_All of the questions we call home_

- Prologue -

I heard my name from the voice of Mag. I got up and opened the door of my room. She was smiling, as usual.

- We are arriving. The makeup team is here.

I rolled my eyes. I didn't want to do this. I want to be at home with my family and Annie. And since I'm on this train, I just can't help but have this bad feeling on my chest. And this will not change it. I sit on the chair in front of the mirror and the makeup team starts their work on me. They don't do a lot. They say I'm the most handsome man alive in all Panem. Please! I'm only sixteen. How can they say that in that way? It's like I'm some kind of food which they can have a bite.

Soon my face is ready and I'm dressed up. If that is what we can say. I'm more naked then dressed: I have a gold chemise, almost transparent and with a huge cut that shows my chest. And the small black pants are with small balls of diamonds. I have that on my eyes too. I'm awful. I hate this but, for Panem, I'm beautiful. I get out of my room and find Mag who is telling me all about this district: number 12. When I feel my feet on the ground, I smell the air of that district. It has a completely different small. I can't identify it. And I think it will be like this for the rest of the next weeks once that I've always have been only in my district and in the Capitol. And, in both places, there's a different smell. And all the buildings here are poor, as the people. I'm shocked. How can this be? All the luxury on the Capitol and all this misery in here?

Mag and the team take me into the governor house and when I'm in it I notice something's wrong. More, I'm suddenly nervous and, the feeling on my chest, is growing. I've never been in that house or in a Victor Tour but, when I'm going to see the governor house, I expect lights on. There's none. In the darkness I see that the rich house is full with food and for a good dinner but, there's no people there. And then, I smell him, before I see him. And I'm terrified. The smell of roses makes me want to vomit, but I control it and ask:

- What's going on?

I feel Mag grabbing my hand. This can't be good and I was right about my foreboding. Finally he appears. Snow. He has a few white hairs but, most of it still are dark. He approaches me. Mag let go my hand because she knows Snow wants to grab it. And so it is. He grabs it and says:

- Good night, Finnick. – He says and, even though there's this rose smell in the air I can smell the horse smell ever. Something that I had hoped I never had to feel again, since I won the Hunger Games: the smell of blood. Yes, his mouth has this smell of blood and dead bodies – I missed you.

Liar. I think.

- Come. Follow me. – He says. It's a order that I have to obey. Otherwise I know someone will get hurt and it's not me. Can be Mag, or my family or Annie. So I follow him. He starts to raise the stairs. I look at Mag and, for the first time, I see her smile gone. Now I'm sure. Something terrible will happen. I hear steps and I see 10 men in a white suit with guns.

- Finnick. – Snow calls. I look at him and then to Mag. She smiles and I start to rise in the stairs. I follow him until we get in the huge corridor, also dark. Then, Snow opens a door and the light blinds me.

- Enter in. – He orders. I don't have a choice and I see a bedroom. All white with a white bed, roses everywhere and a mirror. The President closes the door. I just can't help it but to think why are we there. It seems that Snow reads my mind because he asks:

- Aren't you curious? To know why we are here? Just the both us?

The last question terrifies me but I keep still. I need to pretend that I'm not afraid. I need to show that he doesn't scare me. It's my only weapon.

- Yes, indeed I am.

He grabs my hand, again, and as gently as he tried to be, he takes me to the mirror. He goes right next to me and orders:

- Look at the mirror.

I look.

- What do you see?

Me. That's what I see. I see me in this stupid outfit in a white bedroom.

- Me. – I answer.

- Of course you see yourself. But what do you see more?

- The bedroom. – I say. I know what he wants me to respond but I don't want to play his game. I can't play it. As long as I keep pretending I'm not afraid and I'm dumb, I will be fine.

- Don't be dumb. I know you, Finnick Odair. – He says, losing his patient. I can tell he is excited for something – You are far better than that. You're wise. So, just tell me. Who is the person on the mirror?

- Me, Finnick Odair. – I answer, angry.

- What about you?

- I teenager with sixteen years old. Dressed with a yellow…

- No one cares what you're wearing. – He says, calm – Actually we care by what you are not wearing. I want you to look at your body and say what you are…

- No, I'm not that. – I say. I will never will say that about me.

- Yes, you are. It's what defines you. It's the reason why you are a victor. What do you thought? That you have won because you know how to fish?

He goes to my back and put his hands on my shoulders.

- You won because of this. – He says, as he ripped the yellow blouse in two, showing, now, the top of my body without something to almost hide it – So, say it. You're not a victor because you are a great fighter. You won because…

- No…

- Say it, now.

I don't have another option. I have to say it:

- I won because I'm the most beautiful man in Panem.

Snow smiles:

- Exactly. And it was only because of that, that you won. Nothing more. – He says, putting his hands on the skin of my shoulders. I shiver – And you, now, are propriety of Panem and… of me. If you thought that now, that you won the Games, you were free to be on your district to just me a mentor, then you're wrong. Most of you win and are over my watch. But then, there are those special ones and, Finnick, you are one of those special ones.

- What you mean by that?

- I mean that everyone wants you, desires you. You're gorgeous as no one in Panem, so everyone wants to be with you. Woman and man want you, kids aspire to be you.

- I never want that.

- But it happen and you, are too precious to my lost. You can do something that will help me.

- What? – I ask, fearing.

- Discover secrets. – He says on my ear – You will be with these people and you will satisfy them and, then, they will ask what you want for that service. And you will ask for secrets instead of money. When you know something that is interesting for me, you tell me.

Now I get it. He wanted me to find spies, traitors… but… what does this "service" mean?

- What kind of services are you talking? – I ask.

- Oh, you know.

And then, I feel the most terrifying thing ever. I feel Snow's hand on my penis. I pull him over:

- What the hell? Stay away from me! – I order.

- I'm the one who give the orders here, my dear. – He says, showing me is watch – I can tell them to kill everyone down there, now.

Mag… I think. No.

- And you will do this because I want. Otherwise, when you return home, it will be to say "hello" to your family's dead bodies… or Annie's.

- NO! – I scream. In fury, I get prepared to punch him on the face but then I remember. Mag… no, this isn't happening. I did not leave home for this. I will not return as a whore. No… no! I knew Snow could take everything from us, from me but not this. Not my dignity. And even that he wants to take from me – I'll do it.

- Good decision, dear Finnick.

- Now, can we just get back? – I ask.

- We will, but not now. – He says with a skirmish look – Don't worry because they will not going anywhere. They will wait for us.

- "Wait"? Are we not done here yet?

- Oh, no! We did not even have started. – He says, putting one of his hands on my neck and the other on one of my bronze chest. I smell blood again because he is very close. I'm trembling – You see, I'm the President of Panem. I have to be the first one to have you.

No, no, no. This is a nightmare. It has to be. I'm so shocked that I don't even notice that he is kissing me. I only came to reality when a notice that my mouth tastes as blood and dead bodies. Now I see that he is kissing me, furiously. He stops kissing me and, while I try to control the vomit, he takes off his jacket and his chemise. He lays me down on the bed and I feel his tongue on my chest and on my abs. I'm looking at the door. I hope someone to enter in and stop this madness. But I know that if someone enters the room, that same person, hours later, will be killed. And no one wants that for themselves.

I feel Snow start taking off my pants. It will happen and I don't want to. I've never have been with someone like this. Never. I knew that a lot of people wanted me for that but I didn't want that for myself. I wanted to lose my virginity with someone I love and not with the one I hated the most.

My penis is out and Snow is looking at it. He seems a lit bit disappointed. I wonder if it is because my penis is not erected or if it is because my penis it isn't enough. I hope it's the last. It isn't.

- I have to say, your is the biggest for your age that I have ever seen. I guess we only need to make it happy.

I can't believe. I has done this before with other guys. Maybe with kids.

- You're a virgin! – He sounds enthusiastic. Has a child when have a lot of presents – I can't believe I'm the first of Finnick Odair.

Has he stops to look at my penis, he puts it on his mouth. I feel a tear on my face, coming from my eyes. It seems like hours until he stops sucking me taking off his own pants.

- It's your turn. – He says, grabbing me by my hair. I feel his erect penis on my face. I don't want to do this, but then I remember of Mag. I have to. I open my mouth and I let Snow cock enter.

- Oh, Odair! Suck me! Do it!

I don't know how to do it, and I really don't want to, but he says how he wants. He says it to me and I do it. Without a warning he comes in to my throat. It's the edge. I get out of the bed and vomit on the ground while he dresses up.

- I hope you don't do that every single time. – He says – Otherwise you'll never get any secret. And I send you a man and a girl for the train journey. They will help you to know more about sex.

- I'm fine on my own. – I can say when I stop vomiting.

- We'll see. Dress up and find the governor downstairs.

Finally, he leaves the room.

I'm feeling alone, cold. He took it. I don't have anything left. Only the ones I care about and, to protect them, I need to become into this new person that I don't want to. I need to become a whore. Panem's Whore.

I'm still shocked when Mag and my makeup team came in. I don't care if they see me naked. That's the small of my concerns now. The team grab me and lay me down on the bed. Then I see it: Mag's gentle smile, while caresses me. Now I know. It wasn't for nothing. It was worth it.

Half hour later, I'm on the bright ballroom of the governor house. I fake a smile. For now, that's all I can do.


End file.
